hotel room ftw
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
