just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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