I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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