the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Randomize
