pedialite and red bull = repair kit
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
