So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
