Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
We left the knife in your bed.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
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