Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
my liver is dry heaving
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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