We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
