just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
