how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
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