You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Randomize
