Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
