Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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