i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
