i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
