Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
