oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
