btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I have fence marks all over my body
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize