I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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