Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
