ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
