girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
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