I will die if light touches me.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
