I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
