I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
