I heard we made out
A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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