Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
