I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
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