Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
