Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
