you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
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