I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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