Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
