his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I think weed is turning my hair brown
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
