She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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