i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I think I sprained my soul last night
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
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