i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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