where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
