Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
