It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
She bit a glass in half.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
