Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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