I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
