Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
