I need to stop coming to work sober
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
