make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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