too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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