I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
