dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
