Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
You're like the curious george of whores
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
