You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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