he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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