let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
